Tips on Being a Single Mother

Bam! Bam! Bam! You find yourself with kids in rapid succession. Both of you worked yourselves too hard to earn a living to sustain your – growing family. All of a sudden tragedy struck — number one, your husband was an acute philanderer or number two, he figured in a fatal accident — either way, you found yourself alone to carry the load of rearing five kids!

But bless your heart, you have proven yourself to be a good single mother; however, no matter how hard you try, you cannot be physically present for each of your children since you have to fend for their needs.

Now that you’re in the prime of your life, you still cannot just sit down and relax and see the lives of your youngest kids go to waste, right? So what did you do to deserve this? What seemed to have gone wrong, you ask.

Getting to the root of your problem is never easy in this case. Definitely, when young couple got hitched, they’ve woven wonderful dreams and gargantuan goals for themselves and their future offsprings. It’s normally the first step towards marital bliss. Understandably so, when the couple have had experienced rough times, they would surely dream of something better, if not the best, for their children. This is a typical case scenario of modern families. Once they have settled into married life, they work and save money to provide for shelter, clothing and their basic necessities. When kids come into the picture, your set of priorities change quite drastically. Their future takes the front seat for the longest time. So, when the first two kids come along, you tend to shower them all that you can afford to give that your hard-earned money can buy. Well, that’s good, more so, if you can really afford it. So when the next couple of kids or more comes along, that’s when you somehow “tighten” the belt.

Similarly, a pattern emerges that more of your time is made available to your first two or three kids rather than when you have kids in rapid succession. Not that you don’t give them enough love and attention, it’s just that it’s a question of management.

Getting back to our case-in-point. By a stroke of bad luck, you are now a single mother trying to make life bearable for the sake of your beloved children, no matter how arduous it may seem. But you have the plus factor — an edge over the male population — women have in them that so-called “maternal instincts” that would make us survive the toughest of situations. Being a single-earning parent and sustaining all your five children through adulthood is one mean feat and I take my hat off to you, really!

I would like to believe that you have instilled in them the moral values that most parents leave a legacy to their children aside from education. So it’s up to them how they would like to live their respective lives; however, your intrinsic maternal insinuations cannot and will never be ignored.

Therefore, single motherhood has its own share of ups and downs. But whose life isn’t? Now more than ever, an open, uninterrupted and trouble-free line of communication should always be made available 365 days, round-the-clock, nonstop. With the influx of high-tech gadgetry, most direct and normal conversation amongst family members is somehow deliberately ignored or totally scrapped out. I strongly suggest that the typical family talk over the dining table be reinforced for communication purposes. Resolving whatever needs to be resolved is best achieved when all concerned are present and able to share his/her ideas on the matter. It’s a kindred spirit at work!

Here are 5 principles that any single mother should adhere to make her life as manageable as possible.
1. Your house is a silent member of your family. It should, likewise, be treated with respect for good things to emanate to and from it.
2. A family should always maintain their strong religious beliefs; regardless of sects, because sometimes it’s the only thing that holds a family intact.
3. Earning money should only be secondary to your goal of providing a bright future for your children complete with high moral values and self-preservation.
4. All good mothers would want to leave a legacy to their children, that aside from a good education, that they all live to be morally upright, God-fearing individuals and law-abiding citizens of the country (wherever they choose to reside).
5. If you’re a mother to quite a large brood, you should learn how to put your foot down on certain issues that affect each of your kids. By then, you have accomplished a mean task of being both a father and a mother to them.
So it’s safe to say that in whatever state your life is in at the moment, life is what you make it. No matter how blessed you are to have a complete family or otherwise, you only have yourself to contend with in the long run.

Cheer up! God is good and lie would never allow harm to come your way every so often. If it does, it’s only to remind you that if you don’t have a man beside you to comfort and guide you, then He’s the only one you’ve got to cling on to. Ain’t that great or what?

Tag:Single Mother| Good Single Mother