Is My Child a Bully?
Bullying is a serious issue with parents today, as seen in the increased numbers of bully-related suicides in children as young as ten. Unfortunately, bullying may never be completely removed from school or life in general. However, there are ways to combat the situation including identifying whether a specific child is the bully or whether that child is being bullied by someone else and then determining the best course of action.
How to Tell
Chances are, the parent doesn’t know that their child is a bully until it has been brought to their attention. This can be through the school, through another parent, a school bus driver, a neighbor or even from another child. However, sometimes the child in question may even drop hints. Children who act out have often partaken in bullying, even if not intentional.
Children who are frustrated on a regular basis begin to act out significantly. They become aggressive, which often leads to physical or emotional bullying of other children. Behavioral changes to take note of could include a child who is easily frustrated, impulsive or hot-headed, lacking of empathy or they may view violence as a positive solution to problems.
What to Do About It
First and foremost, it’s important to contact the school and see if there are some at-school solutions to help combat the child’s bullying behaviors. A school counselor or the child’s teacher may be able to offer insight as to why the child may be bullying or even provide different solutions or tools to help work with the child and move them away from bullying behavior.
Though it can be difficult to take the blame, it’s important for parents to evaluate their own relationships and actions at home. Sometimes, inappropriate television may be the cause, but often there is some type of activity that is resulting in lower self-esteem for the child doing the bullying. This could include teasing from a sibling or the interaction between parents, especially parents who are separated.
Finally, it’s important to be realistic with expectations. Bullying does not stop overnight, nor should it be expected to. Working together with the child in question takes time. It may be necessary for the parent to contact the child who is being bullied, among other tactics. It can take weeks, months or even years to combat bullying in a child, depending on the cause, the plan of action and how serious the parent is about dealing with the issue at hand.
Determining if a child is a bully can be difficult when the parent is unsure of what signs to look for; though many parents learn secondhand from a teacher or another parent that their child is bullying others. Fortunately, once a bully has been identified, the parents can then deal with the situation using a number of tactics, including evaluating their home life and having patience with the situation.
About the Author: Talitha Laderer is the mother of a child who was showing signs of aggression and understands how difficult it can be for a parent to recognize the warning signs and take action. When she’s not working with her children, she is writing about finances, budgeting, UFX portfolios, and investment tips.
I remember when I was young, the bullies in my school tend to be kids who have parents that are too busy working to care for them. These kids are the ones who are often neglected or being insulted by their parents. Very often, they have lots of pent up anger and frustrations that could only be vented on weaker peers. Parents need to realize that their actions, verbal or non verbal have a significant, lasting impact on their children!
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